Have you been looking for the characteristics of a healthy and an unhealthy relationship?
This article will open to you everything you need to know.
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Relationship quality depends on beliefs about a relationship partner’s responsiveness.
That is, on the perception that a partner understands, values, and supports important aspects of the self.
They are warm, sensitive to their partners’ feelings, and want to make their partners feel comfortable, valued, listened to, and understood.
So, a healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, respect, and open communication between partners.
Anything outside of these is just the true image of an unhealthy relationship.
Here are the characteristics of Healthy Relationships. We also include tips to improving an unhealthy relationship.
13 Healthy Relationship Characteristics
The biggest sign of a healthy relationship is feeling free, light ,secure, happy and content.
Love is like that invisible string that doesn’t hold you back rather sets you free.
It doesn’t pull you down but rather allows you to fly and takes you up to the higher limits of sky.
You should not feel trapped or suffocated but feel comfortable and at peace.
i. Their Time
Where there are healthy individual boundaries, when you understand that it’s okay for your partner to feel overwhelmed.
Sometimes, they may even need some personal space and time or maybe just a fun game night with their own friends.
Remember everything is not always about YOU. They have their own life and they own it. You are just a very special and beautiful part of it .
ii. Their Flaws
Perfect people don’t exist, but there are people with imperfections that you can live with.
“I could never stand relationships with dumb people and never have. My husband isn’t dumb.
However, he is very disorganized. That, I can live with, without fighting.”Debora ThaisI could never stand relationships with dumb people and never have. My husband isn't dumb.However, he is very disorganized. That, I can live with, without fighting. Debora Thais. Click To Tweet
Similar to the previous, trust in any relationship helps the two parties to feel secure that any outer force cannot shake things between them.
Trust should not only be pronounced but practiced.
Let them dream, achieve their goals, meet all the people in the world, let them have conversations, let them live their own special life and cheer for them in the background.
Trust me nothing of all this matters. If they really love you, they can roam around in this whole wide world,
Even sometimes feel lost, get fascinated, get overwhelmed but at the end of the day, they will return to you, return home.
Even if there’s a great love and deep bondage between them, they understand they don’t have each other, they’re all free.
They do, go wherever they want, as long as they want to.
“Give the people you love the wings to fly, the roots to come back, the reasons to leave.”~ Dalai LamaGive the people you love the wings to fly, the roots to come back, the reasons to leave. Dalai Lama. Click To Tweet
Whether you’ve been dating for a month, engaged for two years, or married for 20 years, you don’t try to control or shackle each other.
Everyone has the right to keep some things to themselves . But it’s a very, very, very thin line.
Because what you don’t have the right to, is to break their trust. Trust and privacy are very important to a relationship.
“Don’t check the other person’s cell phone, and don’t force a situation where they have to show you who they’re talking to. All of this will undermine your relationship bit by bit.” —Romulo GomesDon't check the other person's cell phone, and don't force a situation where they have to show you who they're talking to. All of this will undermine your relationship bit by bit. Romulo Gomes Click To Tweet
Any relationship is built around love but flourishes around respect.
It can stay healthy only when you truly choose to respect them as an individual first.
Respect their values, opinions, thoughts, stories, past and their time. If you have respect, all the things mentioned above become very easy to follow.
They care more about giving than getting. “The biggest challenge in love comes from the fact that most people go into love to get something.
They try to find someone who makes them feel good.
“In fact, the only way a relationship can last is to see it as something you give, not something you take.” Anthony RobbinsIn fact, the only way a relationship can last is to see it as something you give, not something you take.” Anthony Robbins Click To Tweet
Healthy relationships happen not because they want something in return, but because they are all full of love and feel right to share their beautiful love with others.
In healthy and loving relationships, there are no lies, no deceit, no manipulation, no punishment, no concealment, no pretense.
“Honesty is necessary in a relationship. If they don’t, love doesn’t make sense. So, if you can’t afford it, be honest, be single. “Unknown~Honesty is necessary in a relationship. If they don't, love doesn't make sense. So, if you can't afford it, be honest, be single. "Unknown~ Click To Tweet
Don’t play games. Treat each other the way you want to be treated – love, honesty, appreciation and respect.
Healthy relationships laugh, cry, play, and are happy together. They share their deepest and most hidden thoughts, fears, dreams and wishes.
No matter what they do, no matter what they don’t do, they understand, love and support each other.
Always take time to listen to each other and be close to each other.
When one of you falls, the other lifts the other, not judging, not labeling, not criticizing what happened and why.
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They challenge each other, point out what may hinder their relationship, expose the darkness that exists in each other.
However, they do it with love and compassion, not hurting, judging or offending others.
“A true soul mate may be the most important person you meet because they will knock down your wall and wake you up.” Elizabeth GilbertA true soul mate may be the most important person you meet because they will knock down your wall and wake you up.” Elizabeth Gilbert Click To Tweet
People think your soul mate is your perfect partner, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror.
He will show you all the things that hinder you. He will make you pay attention to yourself and change your life.
In every one of us there is darkness. In a healthy relationship, the best way they deal with a partner’s darkness is knowing themselves.
Take the time to work, let the past go, forgive and heal the part you need to heal, do your project, and it’s better not to be dark to your partner.
When many couples blame and criticize each other for the problems in their relationship and life, Significant Others in healthy relationships praise and admit each other constantly, honestly and openly.
You focus on the other person’s strengths rather than weaknesses, praise and reinforce positive behavior rather than negative behavior.
The basis of a relationship is made up of a lot of talking! It’s the only way to understand what the other person thinks and feels about things in everyday lives.
Besides, it’s through talking and opening up that we go about building a healthy relationship.
If something bothers you, speak up! If you have compliments for them, speak up again!
Want to comment on something you think is trivial? Speak! Do you have secrets or embarrassing feelings you want to share? Speak out!!!
How to Tell if You Are in a Healthy Relationship or Not.
Walter Trobisch in his book I MARRIED YOU, gave some six tests of love. From these you can tell if you are in a healthy relationship or not.
The Six Tests of Love
- Sharing test
- Strength test
- Respect test
- Habit test
- Quarrel test
- Time test.
The Sharing Test
Do you feel like sharing with your partner? True love wants to share things. If you heard exciting news, do you first think of coming to share with your partner?
After God, who next do you remember if something interesting just came up in your life?
If you do not readily want to share with your partner, chances are that your love is in doubt.
The Strength Test
Love is a great booster of strength and enthusiasm. Love causes an inner satisfaction and joy which gives strength.
If you are in love, but rather feel low, depressed and deprived of energy; there is a big problem with your love.
The Respect Test
Does your partner command your respect, or is he or she in the same place with every other person in terms of gaining respect from you?
Will you be proud to have your partner be the father or mother of your children?
If your answers to these questions are in the affirmative, then you have passed the respect test. Your partner should occupy a special status in your heart.
The Habit Test
People have different habits, some good and some bad. A habit may not necessarily be bad, but you find it disgusting in your partner.
Of course, you have a choice to feel that way.
But the test question is: can you keep on tolerating those habits you find disgusting in your partner, assuming they do not change?
If you cannot, better reconsider your position, because there is no guarantee that a habit will change over time.
The Quarrel Test
How easy do you find it to forgive your partner? How soon do you reconcile after a serious quarrel? Soonest, later, or after a very long time, or never at all?
In healthy relationships, forgiveness and reconciliation is much easier. Do not be deceived to think that in true love you cannot quarrel at all.
That is a fantasy. As long as two persons are together, they are bound to differ in opinion sometimes.
But what is most important is the readiness to get back together after a quarrel. If you find it difficult to get back, your love may be in question.
The Time Test
Can your love survive the test of time? People naturally change over time, as they meet new people, challenges, situations etc.
Your partner may not be singing those love songs to you a few years from now.
Now you love him because he is the quiet type, but he may become an extrovert in the next 5 years.
Can you love this person, even when there have been remarkable changes from what you see at present? If you can, then you have an enduring, true love.
How a Healthy Relationship Looks Like at Home
From : Catherine Durnford-Wang
I’ve got this. I am in a very healthy relationship.
Here’s why: My husband has a job and that’s to make me laugh three times a day.
He does because he has a wicked, and droll sense of humour that I love.
My job is to laugh three times a day, which I do.
We share the cooking in the house. We do it because we both enjoy cooking, not because we think it’s fair.
He watches the same bad movies over and over and I don’t mind.
We enjoy each other’s pursuits. My husband is a great keyboard player and I love watching him play because he loves it so much. I enjoy listening too.
I love to play tennis. He now watches major tournaments with me on television because he enjoys it sometimes.
No one asked him to, and I would never ask him to. It’s out of interest for my sport.
We are both kind to each other. We are kind people, why wouldn’t we be kindest to our spouse?
Disagreements don’t end with screaming, raised voices, slammed doors and tears.
We never call each other names, we don’t say “you never” or “you always”.
We stick to the point when we disagree about something and find a solution.
We don’t make major decisions alone. We don’t expect the other to sacrifice to make things better. Decisions are mutual.
We love each other and are able to talk about everything and anything.
We have sex that we both get a huge kick out of because it’s so huggy and happy
How a Healthy Relationship Looks Like at Workplace
From : Jamie Louise
It starts with Commitment to Excellence. This means not only putting 100% into your primary responsibilities but going the extra mile.
I worked for over many years in the nuclear industry. During that time I was a chemist, radiochemist, and supervisor.
I did not settle for just doing a good job but always looked for ways to improve efficiency, safety, and reliability.
One of many examples was the problem our department faced with tracking chemistry data for trending and analysis.
I knew very little about computer systems yet I took on the challenge to build a state of the art laboratory information management system.
This required me to not only do my regular duties but spend my own free time in the development and support of this new system.
I assisted and taught classes to train fellow employees, joined committees to solve problems.
Also, I gave lectures at industry conferences on lessons learned. I took pride in doing the very best possible.
What was accomplished was when I needed help, there was always someone else who would drop what they were doing to help me.
The most important part of maintaining a professional relationship is to ALWAYS make yourself available to others when they need assistance.
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Healthy Intimate Relationship Facts
- Money Matters
- Sharing the housework = more sex.
- A few arguments every now and then are actually good for your marriage.
- Divorce may be contagious.
What Unhealthy Relationships Are?
There are many things that could be unhealthy in a relationship.
Depending on the situation, it might be hard to say if it’s unhealthy or not.
So, a healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, respect, responsiveness, and open communication between partners.
Anything outside of these is just the true image of an unhealthy relationship
Many times our family and friends will bring situations to our attention when we are dating someone.
I think it is good to take mental notes because when we are in deep love we can truly be blinded to some things.
Step back, take yourself out of the situation and think about what advice you might give your family or friend.
Effect of Unhealthy Relationships
Unhealthy relationship can hurt more than your feelings.
I have a friend. I went to her wedding a long time ago. They seemed the perfect happy couple.
A few years later, he developed a gambling problem.
Soon, they lost their house. Then he lost his job. She struggled to raise their children and turned to smoking and drinking at night to relieve the stress.
After he left, she became an alcoholic. Ten years later she was diagnosed with bowel cancer, which the doctor attributed to the heavy drinking.
She had part of her bowel removed. She then developed emphysema. Barely finds a reason to get out of bed most days now.
Choices have consequences
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